Wednesday, November 21, 2012

What to Do if You're Staying in D.C. for Thanksgiving

According to all of the people on my Facebook feed who have been updating their statuses every day this month with saccharine expressions of gratitude, it's apparently yet again the Thanksgiving holiday, the annual celebration of American gluttony and stretchy pants.

I don't know about you guys, but I fully intend on singing into my turkey leg* after I duke it out with my sister for the bigger half of the Wish Bone. (Fuck her, she's happily married and I got dumped, I deserve the goddamn wish this year!!!)

My current sarcasm/pessimism aside, I'm banking on the fact that most of you are probably fleeing the capital city as fast as your feet/Delta Air Lines with take you. But if you're like I was for the first few years I lived here and have a job that requires your presence on both Wednesday and Friday -- or perhaps even Thursday itself -- don't worry, because there are still plenty of ways to enjoy the holiday while you're stuck here sans the fam.


Tonight represents the biggest bar night all year, as everyone knows they will have the next five days to recover from a hangover by stuffing themselves silly and endlessly watching football. And D.C. -- in its infinite wisdom -- decided this year to permit bars to EXTEND BAR HOURS UNTIL 4 A.M. the night before federal and state holidays.

The last time we experienced this was the night before Columbus Day. Here is a list of bars that participated last time, so I'm sure the same ones will again be slinging cocktails until the sun rises over the Potomac.

If you'd like to ensure that this holiday passes quickly by drinking yourself into a beer-laden stupor, perennial District favorite D.C. Brau has a treat for you: The local brewery will be extending their growler-sale hours TONIGHT from noon until 7 p.m.!!!

A growler of delicious beer.
The D.C. Brau brewery is located at 3178-B Bladensburg Rd. NE.


My educated guess is that the majority of you have galley-style kitchens, which don't exactly lend themselves to cooking large, multi-course meals.

This is hard to do in an English basement apartment.

So I say, screw cooking. There are plenty of fancy restaurants that will be open on Thanksgiving that can do that for you -- AND save you the hassle of wearing out your biceps through a steel-wool scrubbing of your roasting pan later.

Click this link to go to OpenTable to view the participating restaurants, their specialty menus and make a reservation.


Those fancy restaurants are all well and good, but what if the reason you're not heading back to the homestead is because you can't afford the plane ticket? No fear, because the Black Squirrel has you covered:

The Adams Morgan bar will be playing host to its "The Very Black Squirrel Annual $5 Thanksgiving Buffet," where that's not just a clever name -- you can actually get a very, very hearty meal in exchange for a just a few of the Sacagawea dollar coins in your pocket.


A personal favorite, the United States Botanical Garden will open its annual Seasons Greenings holiday display on Thanksgiving Day.

Additionally, the American History Museum has just introduced its FOOD: Transforming the American Table 1950-2000 exhibit all about the meal options available to Americans.

So, if you're looking for some educational options, those are definitely two to check out.


I've recently delved into the magical world of D.C. open-mic stand-up comedy, so stay tuned for a blog post all about my experiences, the people and how awesome it is. But until then, trade the Wish Bone for a Funny Bone at R.F.D. in Chinatown on Saturday night for District Comedy's "STFU Showcase - Thanksgiving Edition."

For $10, you'll get a night full of laughs from some of D.C.'s best stand-up comics!

That's it! Happy Turkey Day!


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