Thursday, November 8, 2012

Samantha Says: You Ask, I Answer

Lately we’ve gotten lots of emails, tweets, and comments asking for the Gamma Girls' tips on livin' it up in this great city of ours. In this post, we'll share some of these questions and our responses. Have your own question? Send it to, leave a comment below, or find us on Facebook!

Brandon Asks: I need recommendations for third date spots. Any suggestions?

Samantha Says: It's that time of year, folks. The air is growing brisk, the sun is setting earlier, and all around us, single people are coming together to form relationships just in time to face the holidays and inevitable “is there anyone special in your life?” onslaught from relatives. Me, I’m content to spend my nights dancing on the bar doing Patron shots with cute strangers while all you lovebirds cuddle on the couch, but I’m glad to see so many others finding happiness.

Anyway, Brandon, it’s hard to answer this question without knowing what your first two dates were. If you did the dinner and drinks thing on your first and second dates, I would strongly advise that you choose something different for the third date, as a good way to derail a potential relationship is to bore her to death through dining.

Fortunately, it's pretty easy to find creative dates in D.C. Me, I’m a sucker for a nighttime stroll around the monuments and my guy friends who’ve tried this have also had great success with it. If your date is athletic, ice skating at the sculpture garden is another fun option.

If you’re willing to shell out a little cash, there's no shortage of great performance art to choose from.  DC Theater Scene has a nice listing of area shows and links to cheap tickets, including notable offerings like the Tony Award winning War Horse at the Kennedy Center (playing until Sunday) and the Fringe Festival shows that run until November 18th.  I'm also a big fan of the D.C. Improv, so if you're not afraid to take the chance of being mocked in front of your date- and a crowd- check out their upcoming events here.

And if you haven’t done a proper romantic-dinner-wooing, get on that, stat. There are lots of amazing restaurants in D.C., but the spots below strike the perfect balance between old school romance and modern charm. When you’re on the all-important third date, these restaurants will help you hit that sweet spot of impressing your date without trying too you can hit another sweet spot later that night (too obvious?)

(just make sure she’s not a vegetarian!)

Rachel Asks: Samantha, I love reading all about your escapades. I have a question for you- I’ve gone on 4 dates with "Johnny." He's a nice guy, attractive and funny, but I can't decide if I want to keep seeing him. He's great on paper, but I'm not sure that spark is there. Part of me worries that if I keep dating Johnny, I could miss out on meeting Mr. Perfect. But the other part of me thinks I'm crazy for even considering letting such a good catch go and maybe that spark will come. I'm torn. Help!!

Samantha Says: I have good news and bad news for you, Rachel. The good news is that you met a guy who has some really great qualities -- nice, attractive and funny are all really important things. The bad news? You’re just not that into him. Because if you were, you’d be doing a Liz Lemon dance of happiness instead of torturing yourself over him.

Look, I totally get where you’re coming from. I’ve seen a lot of friends struggle with this exact same dilemma, especially as we’ve gotten older and more and more of us are taking steps toward marriage and kids. You start to worry that you’re going to miss out on it all. You start to panic and set a timeline for finding Mr. Perfect, and you stop trusting your gut. You beat yourself up for meeting a great guy and not feeling the sparks. You start to wonder if it’s you that’s the problem.

Let me assure you -- it’s not. Think back to how you felt after a few dates with a guy you really liked. You were probably thinking about him a lot, smiling randomly throughout the day, eagerly awaiting the next text, the next call, the next kiss…hell, you probably felt downright giddy when you thought of spending the night at his place.

Though of course true love comes later, that excited wow I like this guy I can’t wait to see what happens feeling is what lays the groundwork for the real stuff down the line. Feeling doubts like this so early on- and having to actively work to convince yourself that you should give it a shot- is an indication that you’re simply not that into it.

My advice? Let him go. You deserve to be with someone who incites excitement rather than panic.

And if you’re not quite ready to bid him adieu just yet, by all means, give it a little more time. As long as you’re not leading him on, there’s no harm in waiting until you’re sure you’re making the right decision. Sooner or later, you’ll know how you really feel.

Got questions?  I'm all ears!

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