Friday, July 27, 2012

What to Do in the District This Weekend

It's a goddamn oven outside once again, with temperatures ranging deep into the 90s despite predicted thunderstorms. Yes, Hell has opened an annex, and it's located in the heart of Washington, D.C.

You've probably already read a lot of blog posts and news reports detailing how you can stay cool and beat the heat. But we D.C. folks know that it's impossible to keep this summer humidity from suffocating you like a straitjacket, so here's what I say: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em this weekend. Here's a list of activities that are sure to keep your core temperature raised for the next few days.

OLYMPIC BAR CRAWL: H Street Northeast

With its traditional torch-passing and lighting of the ceremonial flame, the Olympics are definitely this weekend's hottest activity. So, don't just watch them from the artificial Arctic you've created in your English basement -- be a spectator out on the town. Check out H Street's Olympic Bar crawl, which begins at 5:30 p.m. at The Argonaut and makes four stops along the street before winding up at The Queen Vic, where pints are $4 until the closing ceremony.

English soccer player Michael Owen carries the Olympic flame.
I chose this picture to illustrate because, really, what is hotter
than a man and his dog? Nothing. The answer is nothing.


Stay on H Street for Saturday night, when Red Palace will make you feel tingly in funny places with their steamy burlesque show. I've seen Tilted Torch shows before, and they certainly don't disappoint -- there's always some sort of fire dancing associated with the performances.

You haven't seen anything until you've seen a scantily clad woman hula hooping with a flaming hoop. Then, you legitimately have seen everything and have won at life.


As Thirsty Ivy and I frequently discuss, everything can be related to an episode of "Sex and the City." This bullet point is no different: Remember when Carrie dates the politician who wants to her to pee on him, and they eat dinner at an extremely spicy Indian restaurant where she doesn't drink any water?

This doesn't end well.
Since D.C. boasts multiple award-winning Indian restaurants, grab your favorite Hill staffer and re-create the moment! (Minus the peeing and awkwardness, of course. Or plus it. Your choice.)

My favorite spot is Heritage India in Glover Park, but Appealing Kate loves Rasika. Either way, grab some curry and prepare to feel the spicy burn on your tongue.

SEE THE CITY FROM A BIKE: Capital Bikeshare or Bike and Roll

That's a map of all the bike trails in and around Washington. Most of them connect to each other (see for more details), so get out your rusty Schwinn and pedal yourself silly. And if you are bike-less, check out either Capital Bikeshare, with bike ports located around town, or Bike and Roll, which has its main hub at the Old Post Office Pavilion, for rentals.

My personal favorite ride in D.C. is the Mount Vernon trail, which winds its way along the Potomac from Teddy Roosevelt Island to the Mount Vernon Estate. It's a breathtaking view of our nation's capital, so don't miss it.

And with that, D.C. folks, stay hot. Since it's already 91 degrees outside, I'm sure that won't be too hard.

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