Monday, July 16, 2012

How to Survive The Day Your Ex Gets Married

Ladies, it’s bound to happen sometime, as much as we don’t want to think about it… the day will come when a guy from our past gets married. Whether he dumped you, you dumped him, or you both ended things amicably… one day, a man we once cared for will devote the rest of his life to another woman. Regardless of how much we are over him, or truly glad that he has found someone so perfect for him, there is a little part of our hearts that will hurt. So fear not, girls, when this day comes, I have put together your guide to surviving your ex’s wedding day.
Sure, it may be tempting to make slutty brownies, watch Lifetime on repeat, and listen to Adele, but my fellow she-girl man haters club members (yes, this is a rip off of Little Rascals), this is NOT the way Gamma Girls spend this “special” day. This day is about getting pretty and drinking and dancing with your girlfriends and the fair men of this fine city. 

First, and foremost, every girl needs a little pampering. So whether you get your hair blown out, your nails done, get a massage, or get a facial… darlin' it’s all about YOU today and feeling pretty.  
Perfection. Source.
Appealing Kate is a big fan of Bubbles blow outs, and Lord knows I am pretty excited (understatement of the year) for the Dry Bar to open up. In fact, most salons offer a shampoo and blow dry service, that is a much more cost effective option than a cut/color. Call your salon, head to your favorite stylist and give your hair a little va-va-va-voom. I promise you ladies, this will have you feeling like a princess in no time  (fun fact: HRH The Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine Middleton, gets blow outs three times a week). 

And of course every pretty girl needs fantastic fingers and toes. Capital Katie loves Cindy’s Nails, and be on the lookout soon for the Gamma Girls guide to getting (reasonably priced) perfectly manicured nails in the district.  

If I’m being completely honest, aside from Pugs, spa days are a girl’s real best friend. Elizabeth Arden Red Door spas are like a dream. The smells, the music, the fluffy robes… perfection. Yes, it is a bit pricey, but on a day like today the splurge is totally justified. So whether you’re looking for a massage, a facial, or any other relaxing spa treatment, I recommend the Red Door in Pentagon City. Plus, if you have an existing client refer you, you can get a discount on your first visit. Massage Envy is also a great alternative and offers a great first-time visitor discount, as well. Finally, take a cue from Extreme Couponing and keep an eye out on the “deal sites.” Groupon, Living Social, Daily Deal, etc. run spa special deals regularly. Always be on the lookout, girls, you never know when you’ll NEED a massage. (Photo Source)

After you are beautified, put on your best dress, heels, grab your girlfriends and head out on the town. Tonight is the night you want the male to female ratio to be highly in your favor. So you want to visit bars that men frequent. If politicos or military men are up your alley then, Capital Katie has you covered. If there is a major sporting event, Redline is bound to be hopping with eligible men (but fair warning, be prepared to play second fiddle to the game). Finally, Jack Rose tavern is always swarming with whiskey drinking gentlemen and has never disappointed. In fact, Thirsty Ivy was very lucky and some of my birthday magic drifted her way the last time we visited. And, let’s be real, it is always a great idea to head to Rumors or The Guards to dance your worries away and laugh until you cry (totally plagiarized from Appealing Kate).


Now when that time of the night arrives and your freshly blown out hair is in a sweaty messy ponytail on top of your head, you are seriously debating walking home barefoot, and are laughing at everything in sight, the only thing left is to grab yourself some jumbo slice and call it a night. Make sure your girls spend the night so you can re-live college, wake up with a pounding headache, and go through your hilarious iPhone photos. Naturally you'll head to brunch and giggle while talking about the awesomely “bad decisions” you made the night before. All in all, the perfect night.

So ladies… get pampered, dress up, follow this plan and you will have made so many new memories that you will barely even remember that some guy got married!  

Yours in Spice Girls, Britney Spears, and Tina Turner “Girl Power” Singing,


  1. Ummm...that news about Dry Bar pretty much made my day. Would it be weird to move to Georgetown specifically for the good of my hair?!

  2. Dear Maggie: Not weird at all.

  3. Hi!

    So, how would I survive a day my ex is getting married and my entire family has to go to keep up appearances?

    1. Same this is happening to me, we have the same exact circle of friends and family, and I feel like I can't breathe and am dying. I don't know who to turn to because my family will just say "you're better off, or well, it's too late" and those who are going will say "get over it". I feel completely alone