Friday, September 30, 2011

Where the Gamma Girls Get Down (on the dance floor, that is...)

Ladies, you know the feeling. It's about 3 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, your eyes are fighting to stay open, and it's all you can do not to dream about a night on the couch in sweatpants. And then your 80s pop Pandora station switches to "Flashdance" ... suddenly you're wide awake, having a dance party in your chair, and you know exactly what you need to overrule those boring plans. But where to take your ladies out for a dance party? Don't you worry -- here's a handy little Gamma Girls' guide to some of our favorite places to shake our tail feathers in the District.

(And gentlemen, you'd best pay attention as well -- these are the places to go if you want to see a little booty shakin' on a Friday or Saturday night!)

Capital Katie recommends:

Rumors  1900 M St. NW

The bad: Rumors is a filthy, sticky, cocktail-soaked festering hole of humanity. Acts of degradation I have personally witnessed include a drunk-to-the-point-of-brain-damage woman teetering ungracefully toward the bathroom only to take two steps in and vomit all over the floor as well as a couple writhing so intensely together on the dance floor that her skirt actually rose up to rest around her waist. I once stepped on underwear -- UNDERWEAR!!! -- in the middle of the dance floor.

The good: But go not ye to Rumors to judge, lest ye be judged thyself. Rumors is not the place to be classy; Rumors is where you grind on a 24-year-old intern and dance until sweat drips from your very core. You pay the $5 cover and accept that at some point, someone will spill alcohol down your back. The bar plays awesome music, everyone sings along, and the dance floor is always crowded to capacity. And if you're having a night where you're feeling bad about yourself, well... just look around. Inevitably, someone there will make you feel much better.

Appealing Kate recommends:

The Guards  2915 M St. NW
The good: There is something about a sweaty, dark basement with 80s music that I love. Probably because it brings back the inner sorority girl in me. But who doesn't want to be taken back to college frat parties? And if you ever need to relive those college days, the Guards on M Street in Georgetown is the place to go. The upstairs is more on the quiet side -- still lots of people -- but they are mostly just hanging around.  If you were to walk in for the first time, you would have no idea of the shenanigans that are taking place downstairs. But as soon as you walk to the basement, it is like a different world.  A world of random strangers dancing together, singing into beer bottles, making out… and did I mention lots of 80s music? Like Journey and Michael Jackson and Bon Jovi.  And shots. Almost always shots.  I have never had a night at the Guards where I did not stay out until 3 a.m. and laughed until I cried.

The bad:
 You may spend the entire next day lying on the couch because of how much you drank. And you most definitely will have no voice from singing so much the night before.  But it will be worth it.  So, so worth it. 

The bad: So, I’m not gonna lie --  getting to Little Miss Whiskey's over on H Street is a pretty much a hike no matter where you are coming from.  The Northeast strip of H Street has no Metro access.  Hell, it is practically in Maryland.

The good: But, it is a hike that is worth it! First off, as soon as you enter Little Miss Whiskey’s, you see large orange slushy machines behind the bar. My advice? Immediately order one. These drinks are called "Awesomeness" -- seriously, that is their name.  And two of those will get you totally dance-floor ready.  Trust me.  As in, you will be fine with water for the rest of the night.  The crowd at Little Miss Whiskey’s is always super laid-back and a mix of H Street hipsters, Capitol Hill staffers and people from around D.C. who are just looking for a good time.  And after having that good of a time downstairs, I suggest going upstairs to dance. The bar plays some of the best dance music in town -- rap, pop, 80s, 90s and everything in between.  The DJ on Friday and Saturday nights is awesome, and I am always sad when the lights come on at the end of the night because time just seems to fly by too fast.

That's it! Now head out there and dance your asses off!


  1. Date Me D.C. you have accurately described Rumors to a T. It's where you go to dance, drink, & forget about the world, and if you happen to get sloppy, no matter, you'll be in excellent sloppy company.

  2. I need to try out these places to people-watch if nothing else. Yes, I know that's missing the point. STILL. If they're as great as they sound, I'll probably be unable to keep from dancing, anyway.